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Dating a 30 year old man at 20

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I'm 31. Can I date a 20 year old or is she too young?

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The only thing I can really say is you need to be careful. Why not meet the guy, see them together, and get a sense of what they're like as a couple? So why would it serve the purpose of helping her grow up by convincing her to remove herself from a situation that...

Things like money, in-laws, religion, kids are more important than age as she considers possible relationship roadblocks. My parents were concerned about the age difference, but they didn't really have a say in the matter, and he eventually won them over anyway. Both of those things can lead to a lot more drama and strife than anything related to age differences.

Should a 30

You're likely in different life stages - you should be building a career, while she is probably in college. A relationship should be built on a relatively equal footing - there's almost no way for a life stage difference like this to avoid a power differential. I would advise you to look elsewhere for your relationship needs. If you don't, at least avoid getting overly intimate for a few months while you feel out the realities of your relationship. I was 19 when I met my first husband who was 31. We divorced after 13 years. Way too many years apart for common interests. Can you imagine this huge gap in our worlds on raising our kids? That alone should be considered… amongst all the other issues brought up. Let me ask my 38 year old boyfriend. This could be work schedules, social life, and values. I wouldn't recommend it. Don't see it as a 31 year old dating a 20 year old. See it as two people dating because they are compatible with each other.

A certain mutual, minimal motivation to get to know each other better. I was 19 when I met my first husband who was 31. There is so much on the line here; I think the age difference is not the biggest concern. I think this is so situation specific as to defy a generalization. Either make a joke of it or don't acknowledge it, but it is still going to come up a bunch and both parties have to be okay with it to deal with that. In the end, it's their relationship and they, not the world or even you, have to be happy with it.

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released December 27, 2018

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siepatrano Springfield, Massachusetts

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